Correct me if I'm wrong, but a nanny is generally hired to look after one's children, not to be treated and chastised as one's child. Last night, however, there certainly seemed to be some role confusion going on when, rather than supporting me in the governing of Child B, The Mom simply gave into the child's whims and undermined me completely.
Just for the record, I was right. I was trying to demonstrate to Child B that demanding a glass of water is not the proper way to get a glass of water, prompting her to ask me and to employ kind words such as "Please" and "Thank you." Perhaps she had never heard these words before. I certainly have never heard them spoken at this particular dinner table, and it seemed to me that tonight would be as good a time as any to introduce manners to the kitchen. When she began screaming and throwing her body around in response, The Mom walked into the room, stepped in front of me, and handed her daughter the water. I understand that "the right" is not always "the easy", but the look she gave me as she appeased Child B spoke volumes as to the uphill battle ahead of me - against both mother and daughter.
I do not mean to say that I expect always to have The Mom on my side. Of course, I realize that our ideas of child-rearing will differ on occasion and that, as The Nanny, I am invisible whenever there is a divergence. That is not the reason for my soreness. The reason is that she took away my power completely, setting me up for unnecessary struggle in all conflicts to come with her children. And, if there was any doubt about who "won" this battle, Child B smirked at me across the table, raising her water glass in the air and singing a little, teasing song of victory. I was immediately transported back to my childhood and my own history of trivial conflict and stunned to have my intentions so blatantly thwarted - by both mother and daughter.
Uphill I go.
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